Being Selfish

Have you ever found yourself living your life for someone else? This could be your spouse, kids, family, friends. You are always doing what your friends ask or what your family ask. You are always that rock for your spouse or your kids. After a while, you can get worn down and worn out from being everything for everyone else. 

Now, I'm not saying you should just "go for yours" and forget everyone. What I am saying is from time to time, you need to be aware of the importance of being there for yourself. You can go, go, go, but in the end, you are drained and the people you are doing all of these things for a just as healthy and as happy as can be. 

Believe me, there is nothing wrong with giving your all for your kids, but hey, in time, kids grow up and they leave to start their own lives. Your spouse, well hopefully if you have done things right, your love and relationship is as strong as ever. Still each person needs that "away time" where you are out doing something for you, recharging your batteries. Then you can go back to being the best YOU that you can be. 

So to all my friends with a big heart, take a minute or two for yourself from time to time to recharge, release and refresh yourself. You will be happy you did. 

Reflection

Take a minute to just sit back and have a nice long look at the wonderful moments in your life. We often take ourselves too serious and the wonderful experiences that helped to get us to where we are, take a backseat to where we are in life now.

I'm sure there are good moments and bad moments alike, but why not think about your first kiss from time to time? Why not think about your first puppy or the first time you held hands with someone you liked? Think about the basketball game where you scored 30 points or the time you hit 3 home runs in a single game. 

Those memories helped to make us who we are. They lie dormant until there is a class reunion or an old friend from school stops by. Take a moment and remissness about the "good ole days" and just smile. Think about the girl/boy that got away. Think about the "what if".

After you have taken a scroll down memory lane, reach out to a long lost friend and let them know you are thinking of them. Connect and share a moment together. Re-live the happy times that both of you shared. Make a new memory to share the next time you have a moment of reflection.  

Friends and How They Affect Your Relationship

In this day and age of social media, our friends get to see what's happening in our lives by status updates and posting pictures. Some of our friends we call and/or visit to share updates on our lives. Let's speak on the impact of friends in your relationship.

I will be the first to tell you, there is nothing wrong with having friends. However, it's up to you and your partner if you choose to keep close contact with friends of the opposite sex (an entirely different topic). Friends can be great comforters during hard times and awesome supporters during the good times. The issue is, our friends tend be able to sway our thinking based on their own personal affairs. For example, your best friend could have just went though a bad breakup. You talk to them about it. All of a sudden you start questioning the same things about your partner (even if they have NEVER given you an indication of what you are thinking).

Another issue is a when you have a friend that's jealous of your life. Of course they would never admit it, but this is when they start telling you all of the things THEY don't like about your partner (even if you like those things). The problem here is if you hear those things long enough, you start to believe them, and effectively changing your relationship over time.

Of course there is the "misery loves company" friend. They are not in a relationship, so they tell you that you don't need to be in one. They try to show you how appealing the single life is. The issue with this is, you want to be in a relationship.You enjoy sharing your life with another person and being a part of theirs. So you end up listening to your friend and having miserable time,because it's not really what you are looking for.

So the question is, can you recognize when your friends are not helping your relationship? Are you willing to have them take a back seat to you being happy? Maybe they helped you though a tough time in your life? OK, so they helped you out. Thank you. It still doesn't give them (or family members-yes another topic) the right to tell you what you should and shouldn't be doing. Your happiness is YOUR happiness. No other individual has the right to tell you what makes you happy or tell you how you should live your life. It's up to you to find the joy your heart desires and continue to build on that joy. Friends are great to have, but recognize when they are doing more harm than good.